Red's World

Never Settle

No matter what the situation or circumstances in life, most of us are taught to compromise in order to get what we want (or what we are told we can have). We’re encouraged to be satisfied with the way things are. If we not, we’re labeled as ungrateful or entitled. We're seen as ‘expecting too much.’ We believe that ‘good enough’ is the best we can expect; we make due, because we think that to want more is unrealistic.

I do not think that wanting more is unrealistic, but I do believe that we often convince ourselves that it is. 

When we believe that we shouldn't expect too much, we protect ourselves from disappointment by lowering our expectations. So, we settle for things that are not completely fulfilling. We tell ourselves that anything more - is impossible. Thus, generating a life of mediocrity. By not allowing ourselves to expect more, we relegate ourselves to a life in which ‘having it all’ cannot happen. 

What we expect, is what we get. We stay safe by closing ourselves off to a better option because we’re afraid it's not available to us or that it may not exist at all; or that the path to get to it is, well - too wrought with strife or too difficult or too - whatever...unreachable. 

I don’t believe that living life halfway is what life is about. For me, that is not enough.

It’s not that I’ve never lived by the rules, or believed that I’m asking too much to want more. It's not that I've never been afraid to hope because I might face disappointment or pain. We all get drawn in to this mode of thinking at times. But I found that putting up with things that are ‘good’, but not ‘good enough’, is not a life I'm interested in living. I can have something more -- something better. So, I refuse to accept anything less than the possibility of everything.

I’ve risked everything in my life to live beyond the status quo… and I have no regrets.

I don't settle in my aspirations, or my relationships - because I'd rather have a life full of failure and loneliness, than a life without hopes and dreams. I may not get everything, but I can never complain that I did not live a life filled with rich experience that moved me, challenged me and enriched me.

By not settling, I’ve made room for opportunities I didn't even know were there and created a life that is beyond anything I could ever have imagined.

Open yourself up to things you never thought possible, things that others may call pipe-dreams, and you will be amazed. There are no guarantees that you will get everything. But I can absolutely guarantee that if you settle, you'll never know the endless possibilities of a life without limits. 

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Sexy Christmas: T'was The Night Before seX-Mas

Never being traditional, and always being naughty (in such a nice way), here's my new take on an old X-mas poem: T'was the night before seX-mas...
                                   well, just play it and you'll see!

RSS Readers go here to view movie

Merry seX-mas!

Kisses,

 Red

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Red's World •  Red's Best • Red Says •  Me • Sex T's Shop • Contact

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Sex T's: just for fun

Hey there, do you like sex? Do you wear T-shirts? Underwear? Sweatshirts? Or hats?

Well, I have news for you...

Sex T's is now up and running, Hooray! Finally something we can all enjoy! Myself, and my life partner (in the business way), Pamela May, have used our sexpertise to create Sex T's.

Often confused with "Sex Tease", Sex T's is a T-shirt company that celebrates sex and fun. Our creative artwork is inspired by a myriad of zany sexual activities -- presented in an exciting and new hair-brained fashion. It's just for fun!

Not only do we carry apparel, we also have fun, sexy gift ideas. Everything from coffee mugs to license plate covers; buttons to banners - even stuffed animals.

Check out our Sex T's Store and be a Sex T's, just for fun!

Kisses, Red

The World is Upside-Down

I recently had a profound experience in my life that shook me to my very roots and has challenged me to think differently than I have for a long time. Including how I define myself.

Those involved, or those close to me know the details of the experience, but it is the intensity of its impact that has caught me off guard. As I now try to continue to go through my day with the knowledge that life is full of mystery and unanswered questions, I find that I'm not as sure as I once was about anything.

I've always been strong in my convictions and bold in my actions - as you might have guessed from what I write. I've been far from needing anyone or anything to feel secure, with the exception of the assurance that I'm authentic about who I am. I live unafraid of the world - a free spirit. And I've made it clear that if you cannot accept (or at least tolerate) who I am and how I live, then that's your problem. If you like what you see, you're welcome to come along for the ride.

None of that has changed, but of late I've been challenged to consider life and myself in a different light. I found myself acting in ways and believing in things that have deeply changed me. And now I find that I cannot undo this feeling. My life would be simpler if I could.

In unseen ways, my mind has taken on a new perspective. There is more to the story of my life than what I thought.  Not really sure how it all happened, but I've started to see myself as a part of something. And when one does that...everything changes: from the day to day choices we make, to the things we consider when we make those choices.

For the first time in a very long time, I don't know the answers. I’ve been changed and every move I make is now colored by this experience. The chart I’ve been using to direct my life doesn’t reveal how to navigate my current position. It’s perplexing for me to find myself unable to read the chart with any accuracy. It feels awful and wonderful at the same time.

I hear myself saying and doing things that are a culmination of insights I didn’t know I had. I find myself going in a direction that moves me into uncharted territory; doing what I believe honors the truth of this experience, and giving credit to its significance by allowing life to take a course in which I cannot see the horizon. I give up the idea that I can influence future events.

From this experience, I've been able to catch a glimpse of an aspect of myself that would not have been exposed otherwise -- a part of myself that I don’t recognize; a part of me that sees far beyond the next step but at the same time cannot see the path. So, although I don’t know how to do it, I try to trust that the path is right in front of me.

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Photo Credit: Bmoore3

I don't know anything

The truth is, I may not know a lot about things of importance, like world history or the latest trends (although I try to keep up). But I do know people and I know myself.

I trust myself and I know what it is to love and to have a passion for something. I know what it is to live truly and to appreciate each moment.

These are the things I want to share with you -- all the time!

I profess great words of wisdom like; "I will not let my life be ruled by fear" or "I will not allow my decisions to be determined by my financial situation" (which is the same thing – but not exactly). And I believe that living fearlessly is the best way to be free in life.  I think everyone can benefit from this outlook although many won't take heed or will be too driven by other things to see how they get in their own way.

This is not to say that there haven't been times when I've allowed fear or other factors to determine my behavior, choices, censor my communications, and even change my hairstyle. But restricting myself has never really worked for me.

So, I do my best to live in a way that doesn't steal my focus from my present experience. And I do this by making the decision to do so.

All it takes is to recognize that the only one limiting my life, myself and my desires. . . is me.

Wait a Minute

Do you ever feel like you spend a large amount of your life waiting?
Waiting for the train, waiting for the weekend, waiting for right time. . .waiting for life to begin.

Well, stop waiting! If you don't than you look back on your life and feel like you missed it. Remember life is happening right now. In front of you, beside, behind you. . .
All around you.

Join in!

I recently found myself looking forward to spending time with a particular person and found that much of my day (though busy with activities and fun, productive tasks) was spent daydreaming about the time we'd get to spend together once the day was over. And when all the waiting was for naught -- because at the end of the day, the day was over. And we didn't get together -- I felt desperately let-down.

But it made me think about what I would be doing with my creative energy if I wasn't just waiting. I'm not a waiter (I don't serve you food) and it's generally in my nature to take an active role in determining where I want my life to go. And take the necessary steps to make things happen. 

While I was waiting, I realized that I had been letting life live me, instead of deliberately living my life.

I'm not saying we shouldn't day dream - greatness comes from imagination, dreams and visions - I'm just saying don't miss the opportunity to move your life forward. You don't want to be left behind because you're waiting for something better. Use those daydreams to make each moment a magical experience.

Although there are times it's restful to simply let life take it's course, resting for long creates lethargy and a feeling of being trapped. It makes us forget that we have the power, the control to determine every detail of our lives.

So, remember you're in charge of your life direction. You can have and do anything you put your mind to. If you don't believe me than try what I do and see if I'm wrong. . .

Stop waiting and live a deliberate life.

Far Far Away

I can't even begin to explain what has happened over the past 2 weeks; what I've had to do and how I've lost track of all things I was focused on in my life. That life is far far away right now.

Listing the tragedies and triumphs I've been through would not do justice to the intensity of my experience. Nor would such a list help you to understand. And I fear, it would ultimately distract from the point of this piece.

That point being:  Life, sometimes, is a ride we just have to go with when it pulls us along. And as much as we determine our destiny (and I truly believe that we do); we are powerless over life lessons that are sometime thrust upon us. 

It's what we do with these lessons -- how we manage the wreckage in the face of a tragedy -- that determines who we are, our outlook on life, and our destiny.

What I've found is that while those people outside the turmoil think that pity or sorry is in order; those that are inside often find themselves getting caught up in reassuring the outsiders that things are alright.
            And things are not alright.
                                      Yet, truthfully, they are all right.

The realities of life's paradoxes become crystal clear when one is in the mist of dealing with tremendous loss or shock. This little miracle of living completely in the contradictions of impossibilities is what I call an unexpected gem (and really weird). It's unexplainable.

With each crisis comes a challenge or several, I'll only share a handful that seem important to me at this moment:

1. One is to stay true to who you are as life throws you for a loop (or several loops at a time.)
2. Two is to stay close to those you love, who love and 'get' you.
3. Three is to love all those around you who try to support (as best they can -- many times not knowing how to.) So . . .
4. Four is to remember there is no map (for either the insiders or the outsiders) for dealing with events filled with turmoil or the inherent paradoxes, so be gentle.
5. And Five is to honor each taxing situation for what it is and/or who they are/were.

I know that some of this post may seem vague or hazy but at times -- so is destiny.

BTW, the image used is an electronic painting by Dr. Sabin-Corneliu Buraga called Warm Destiny

Live Fearless and Freely

Sometimes I listen to myself and I sound so altruistic, idealistic, and optimistic. But I’m really not. I think I’m realistic, although many would dispute me on that. I think I'm realistic because I believe that anything and everything is possible.

I can have it all.  I don’t need to compromise, or settle, or make due. Settling only causes resentments and regrets. And I like to live my life regret-free.

This takes more courage than you might think.

It means being willing to be open to anything and to be ready to let go of it at the same time. It takes trust in your own resilience and a good helping of fearlessness. . . qualities I believe that we all have.

$pend your time and your money wi$ely.

Money. It comes and goes. We spend so much time worrying about where we'll get it and if we'll have enough and if we can afford it. What a waist of time and life!!

All too often I've seen people live for the Almighty Dollar. It rules their every decision and their state of mind. Most people are living in accordance with what they think they can't do, rather than what they want to do. Now, I'm not saying be stupid and run your credit cards up, and get into terrible debt, and feel overwhelmed with bills. I'm saying if you live as if you can't have anything - then you can't. Live in abundance and you'll have abundance.

Maybe I'm just lucky - or - as my accountant says, I'm a financial genius. Because, I don't really make a lot of money, but I live like I do. I travel when I want, I have what I want and I choose a career in the arts - I'm an Actress (live theatre being my true love) - where there is little opportunity to get rich. (Hence, the term starving artist.) But, if I took my financial situation into consideration, when making a career decision, I'd have never had the rich experience of living my dream and having a passion filled life. Yes, it's risky but I've found it to be well worth the risk.

In fact, I've taken financial risks - some have panned out some have not. I've invested in things I love and I've spent money on people I love, even when I really didn't have it for myself. And guess what? The rewards are endless. What I'm absolutely sure of is that I will always have enough money. Remember, it comes and goes. There is always more coming. Believe it.

Be smart with your money, yes, but don't be ruled by it when it comes to your life. If you think you can't afford to take my advise, you're wrong.

To have a truly rich life, you can't afford not to.

Speak Up!

Always say what’s on your mind. Don’t censor. It may shock someone but it will also challenge them to be more true and alive.

Sometimes being irreverent is really being respectful.

Although I seem to flip the social mores, I’m stating the facts as I know them honestly and truthfully.

My philosophy is not about being right or moral it is about being true. 

Some people find me offensive, others inspiring.

Those that are offended usually have their own insecurities or unloved parts of themselves.

If my way offends you into accepting and celebrating yourself more than before
. . . your welcome.